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It's late and I'm tired. I've been thinking about what I should make this LJ about. I have a lot of LJs bookmarked and I visit them daily. They're different, some talk fandom, some are more fanfic oriented, and others talk about their day to day lives. I really enjoy them all because they are windows into the thoughts of others, and I've always been voyeuristic that way. I'm a lurker by instinct, so getting an LJ myself was suddenly like being asked to pilot the ship instead of sitting back and enjoying the scenery. I'm a part of it, and I'm not sure I've got a lot to contribute beyond a few stories. Opinions are given by others way more articulate then myself, so I'm not truly saying anything new if I express an opinion.
So I think what I'm trying to say is, this LJ will be a hodge-podge of day-to-day stuff, and my fannish loves, and thoughts that hit me that I need to spell out. I might find a cadence to it one day, but I'm not holding my breath.
The other day, I was talking to Starlet about Something Blue, about Spike and Buffy and she said I ought to write out the penultimate scene when Spike is back tied up in the chair and Buffy is sitting across from them. Thought-drabble. Ugh. I want to, because it's been pressing on me since that email - truth be told, when Willow walks up to Buffy with the cookies, and Buffy is just *staring* at Spike and I think Spike is staring back, I have for years wondered what the hell she was thinking. Was her attraction to him (and yes, I am a Spuffy girl) beginning to be a tickle in pit of her stomach, that visceral part of her that makes her a Slayer? I don't know. Buffy's voice has always been hard for me. She's not easy to identify with. She's the first superhero character I have never wanted to trade lives with because her choices are not really choices. Just 'bad and less bad'. I have felt enormous sympathy for what her life has been like between 15 and 22, but she's never 'whispered' in my ear the way...Angel does. Or sometimes Spike. Even Giles and Joyce are easier to write given the right set of circumstances. Cordelia I can, from the third person. Maybe I should try first person, since that seems to lend itself best to thought-pieces. The thing is, to me, Buffy is tied up with the Slayer. That's how I approach her, as a warrior constantly fighting her need to do violence. I can't write fluffy Buffy, or romantic Buffy. At the height of her and Riley (circa mid-season 4), I was so utterly bored with that romance. It wasn't even interesting when Riley got interesting. I thought he would have made a good foil for Faith, by the way - can you imagine a train-wreck like Faith being held together at the seams by his Boy-Scout honor and wholesomeness? She'd try for him, the only clean thing she's ever been intimate with, and she might even succeed.
But anyway, losing the whole point of this post, so I should end it.
So I think what I'm trying to say is, this LJ will be a hodge-podge of day-to-day stuff, and my fannish loves, and thoughts that hit me that I need to spell out. I might find a cadence to it one day, but I'm not holding my breath.
The other day, I was talking to Starlet about Something Blue, about Spike and Buffy and she said I ought to write out the penultimate scene when Spike is back tied up in the chair and Buffy is sitting across from them. Thought-drabble. Ugh. I want to, because it's been pressing on me since that email - truth be told, when Willow walks up to Buffy with the cookies, and Buffy is just *staring* at Spike and I think Spike is staring back, I have for years wondered what the hell she was thinking. Was her attraction to him (and yes, I am a Spuffy girl) beginning to be a tickle in pit of her stomach, that visceral part of her that makes her a Slayer? I don't know. Buffy's voice has always been hard for me. She's not easy to identify with. She's the first superhero character I have never wanted to trade lives with because her choices are not really choices. Just 'bad and less bad'. I have felt enormous sympathy for what her life has been like between 15 and 22, but she's never 'whispered' in my ear the way...Angel does. Or sometimes Spike. Even Giles and Joyce are easier to write given the right set of circumstances. Cordelia I can, from the third person. Maybe I should try first person, since that seems to lend itself best to thought-pieces. The thing is, to me, Buffy is tied up with the Slayer. That's how I approach her, as a warrior constantly fighting her need to do violence. I can't write fluffy Buffy, or romantic Buffy. At the height of her and Riley (circa mid-season 4), I was so utterly bored with that romance. It wasn't even interesting when Riley got interesting. I thought he would have made a good foil for Faith, by the way - can you imagine a train-wreck like Faith being held together at the seams by his Boy-Scout honor and wholesomeness? She'd try for him, the only clean thing she's ever been intimate with, and she might even succeed.
But anyway, losing the whole point of this post, so I should end it.
