*sigh*

[samsom]

I sometimes wonder if I'm too much of a prude or if it's just as appalling (I know! Such a fuddy-duddy word!) as I think it is.

helping out with my daughter's birthday party, and we went to Target for some things. He kept looking at his phone, I noticed, but I didn't think anything of it. Then this little sixteen year old goes by us and I was teasing my nephew (who is barely seventeen) about her. Know what he said? "Been there, done that."

My jaw dropped. One thing led to another and he tells me that girls approach him all the time. He said it just happened and I'm like "I didn't see anyone". So he pulls out his phone and shows me the picture a girl just sent him of herself - from the dressing room where she stripped her shirt off before taking the picture!

Then, while I'm scraping my jaw off the floor, he scrolled and showed me some other girls' pictures. Apparently it's some weirdly ordinary occurance where girls will take nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves and send them to him. The girl in the dressing room sent a follow up text telling him he was such a 'cutie pie'.

So. Appalling. Y/Y??

~~

My daughter's party was today, even though her birthday is tomorrow. It went well, even though we had some no shows and the wind would NOT stop blowing. I got some sun, and my daughter got a face full of cake. I'm glad it's over. I am not a naturally social person so every birthday event is a litmus test of stress and anxiety.

Finally, I can stop thinking about it.

Gabs, I got your PM, I am brainstorming, and now that I have some free time, I'll be able to talk to you about it. I didn't forget, boo. *hugs*

Comments

[samsom.livejournal.com]

It's like sex is the new way to flirt!

Sex was just as prevelant to us when we were in school, but I remember a lot more discretion going on, you know?

[skywardprodigal.livejournal.com]

It's like sex is the new way to flirt!


Well, put.

I don't think exactly think sex was as prevalent back in the 90s and 80s, even the earlier aughts. But I'm not sure. There was a whole lot of fucking going on between the permissive 70s and 80s, and then the realization that heterosexuals could catch HIV. I think what's happened is that sex is far more casual and, a bunch of American girls have been socialized in a context where it's expected that girls at least give head (whereas it's not expected that boys reciprocate). Kids have grown up seeing, hearing, and reading about things that were kinks and taking it as a matter of course. We've had girls who've become experts at giving oral sex in junior high and high school and having that be a point of pride. We've had, at least in the US (though I hear the UK has as much permissiveness and openness regarding children, pre-teens, and teens having sex in public or not having sex be something private if not more so) 8 years of abstinent only education coupled with a pronounced unwillingness for adults and parents to make spaces that are for adolescents. It's like we expect them to read our books, watch our movies, right out the gate. I know innocence is transitory and privileged, but I really have trouble with young men and women relating to each other as sexual objects in such a way that reminds me of skin-comedies of the 80s-- but as a matter of course.

[samsom.livejournal.com]

You make a lot of good points. Sex is everywhere and there aren't enough shields in place for kids, especially in the last eight years with the availability of camera phones and internet connections. Heck, there are kids writing NC-17 (and, btw, badly) in our fandoms. And we treat them too much like adults because what they can't afford to be children for very long. It's sad. But what mystifies me is how that allowed girls to hold their own sexuality and self respect so cheaply. Are boys suffering too? Are they getting singed in this fire or are they somehow escaping? My nephew acted like he was priviliged (if I can use that word) - a well fed male in a room full of ripe fruit, leisuring picking only the best. It doesn't appear as though he's suffering in any way and yet the girls on his phone are, even if they don't know it.