*sigh*

[samsom]

So my work BFF had her last day today.

I hate the circumstances under which she left and I'm soooo not looking forward to Monday like you wouldn't believe.

I haven't stopped eating all day, not coincidentally. I have had oatmeal, two Oreos, Spaghetti (my actual lunch) leftover dessert from the potluck the other day, a double handful of sunflower seeds, and a bag of Edame.

*deep breath*

Four or five Buffolo wings and two slices of pizza...

So far.

She was going to go until the end of Dec and have her last day on Jan. 3rd. But her work environment (we work in two different offices on the same floor) had de-evolved to the point of open hostility from her supervisor so yesterday she checked on her options and found out she had enough vacation time to coast her through the end of Dec. So today she turned her resignation in. I wrote the resignation for her, making sure her reasons for quitting were spelled out in a professional a manner as possible. It boils down to something so incredibly petty, you almost DON'T want to believe it, but it's true. Her female supervisor became hostile two months ago because she began to dress up for work - heels, skirts, the whole enchilada. She started doing it because she noticed when she was dressed up, people treated her with a little more regard. Unfortunately her loser supervisor took it as a direct threat and began a campaign of making her look incompetent. She's been working that desk for three years, and she's one of the best workers on the floor (according to MY boss, the head of the floor), so to suddenly think her work has gone to shit is just that. Bullshit.

But she's 24 and she's been wanting to leave for a while. She wants to go back to school and get something a little less cerebral-intensive as a day job, but I figured she was going to be there a while longer. I'm glad she's not because I don't want her to stall here.

But I'm gonna miss her and the walks we took during breaks and talking about books, writing, ideas and such. She was basically the ONLY normal person in that place, someone I could relate to. So, you know, waaaaa!

Comments

[damnskippytoo.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry your buddy (I wrote buffy at first) is gone. I also can't believe they're allowing this bullshit situation to even happen. But it sounds like leaving is the best thing for her. She definitely doesn't want to get stuck there for 20 years and regret not going for her dream.

[samsom.livejournal.com]

The fucked up thing is before she was the target, this supervisor had issues with the last TWO females in her division, and got them both to the point where they transferred to another division. The problem was, both of these women really WERE incompetent, so it didn't impact anything when my friend brought it up to one of the higher food chain supervisors.

But she went into my boss' office for at least twenty minutes today and unloaded on him. He's a nice guy, a bit of a car salesman, but I think he was very open to what she was saying. She told him to keep an eye on the next female that gets placed under that supervisor, to see how it plays out, and he promised he would.

And you're right, it's no place for someone just starting out. She needed to go now while she can.

[bluemage55.livejournal.com]

Was your friend dressing nicer than the supervisor after the change?

If so, that's unfortunately not an infrequent cause for an insecure boss to suddenly feel threatened and react accordingly.

[samsom.livejournal.com]

Her clothes weren't designer brands or anything, but yeah, how she put them together, coupled with the fact that she's blonde with legs for days, made her look very good. Most of us aren't dressed up like that, the exceptions being the supervisors for appearances sake. So she stood out - in a good way imo.

I thought I'd seen a lot but this is the first time someone's clothing choices became a target. It's sick.

[bluemage55.livejournal.com]

I thought I'd seen a lot but this is the first time someone's clothing choices became a target. It's sick.

The first of the 48 laws of power is "never outshine the master".

I've overheard a number of work conversations over the years where supervisors/managers talk negatively when subordinates dress well, particularly when both are female. Take this as you will, but it often comes off very similarly to when women make snide remarks to their friends at a club/bar when they spot a girl who flaunts her beauty more ("Look at that skank, she must think her legs are soo pretty," etc.) . It's particularly frequent (in both cases) when the women talking are older than the girl in question.

Of course, it's never indicated that said subordinates should be treated badly, but it's not difficult to see how such attitudes can be translated into what happened to your work buddy if you simply have a boss willing to carry it to the logical extreme...

=/

[samsom.livejournal.com]

It was a lesson to me, that's for sure. I've been in work situations where a woman is encouraged to look professional...this is literally the first time I've seen someone punished for trying to appear professional.

In any case, I think this whole thing has opened some eyes to her MO, so maybe something good will come of it. And my friend will go on to better things in the long run.

[bluemage55.livejournal.com]

I've been in work situations where a woman is encouraged to look professional...this is literally the first time I've seen someone punished for trying to appear professional

Most companies/organizations also (ostensibly) encourage people to question the status quo and stand up for what they believe in, but doing so is often a precarious risk not to be undertaken lightly.

In any case, I think this whole thing has opened some eyes to her MO, so maybe something good will come of it. And my friend will go on to better things in the long run.

Indeed.

[xlivvielockex.livejournal.com]

I can speak from experience that it's just not worth it to deal with a boss from Hell. I had one and my work BFF and I quit on the same day. It was the first job I ever quit. I STILL get panic attacks thinking about that boss so I can totally understand where your friend is coming from.

At the same time, it SUCKS you are losing your work friend. It can be so hard to find people at work you get along with and have fun with. I hope they fire that supervisor and get in some people in that dept you can be new bffs with.

[samsom.livejournal.com]

The sad part was that this supervisor was a friend of hers and mine (she used to be MY supervisor) before my friend started dressing up, was easy to get along with, and looked out for her. I can't believe how fast she turned, and I'll never trust her again. I even make a point not to look at her or speak to he when I pass her in the hallways. It's not acceptable for her to get away with this, and if her bosses won't do anything, I at least will make sure to remind her of what a piece of shit she is.

It's so hard to find someone you can trust at work, who won't gossip with others, and who is normal and have roughly the same interests as you. I'm really gonna miss her company. *cries a little*

[melissasdavid.livejournal.com]

aw honey, that really sucks.

Hugs for you and your friend too... It sounds like its gonna be better for her leaving earlier and holy hell does that supervisor sound like a bitch. :(

More hugs OK?

[samsom.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

And yeah, for being in her forties, she's got a ways to go before she matures.

[ever-neutral.livejournal.com]

You've got to be kidding me. I'm so sorry for your friend. But glad she won't have to put up with it anymore. Hopefully you'll still stay in touch!

[samsom.livejournal.com]

I hope so too, but quite honestly, unless they are a part of my daily life, it's very difficult for me to stay in touch with anyone on a regular basis. *sigh*

But she might be different, I just have to cross my fingers and not have so much tunnel vision.